How Trauma Impacts Self-Trust (and Gentle Steps to Rebuild It)
Imagine standing at the edge of a quiet forest, a place where the air feels still, yet alive with possibility. You know there’s a path forward, but the ground beneath your feet feels unsteady. That’s what self-trust can feel like after trauma—a fragile, uncertain sense of direction, even when your instincts are quietly whispering the way.
Self-trust isn’t just about making confident decisions; it’s about listening inward, knowing that your thoughts, feelings, and instincts are valid and worth honoring. With my clients, I call this living from the inside out (as opposed to living from the outside in). But if you’ve experienced trauma, this sense of trust may feel distant, unfamiliar, or impossible, and it may even seem easier to let others tell you what to think or do.
Trauma doesn’t just affect what happened in the past—it shapes how we experience ourselves and the world in the present. Whether it came from a single life-altering event, ongoing harm, or subtle but persistent wounds, trauma can disrupt our ability to feel safe within ourselves. It can leave us second-guessing our perceptions, disconnected from our emotions, and unsure of our own inner guidance.
This journey toward rebuilding self-trust is not about fixing yourself—because you are not broken. Healing looks different for everyone, and there’s no one-size-fits-all path. What matters most is honoring your unique pace, your needs, and what feels safe for you in this moment. It’s about gently tending to the places within you that have been hurt, offering yourself kindness, and allowing trust to grow again, one small step at a time.
I often say that there is no step too small when we are building this kind of self trust.
How Trauma Erodes Self-Trust
Self-Blame: Many trauma survivors internalize responsibility for what happened to them, even when it wasn’t their fault. This self-blame erodes confidence in their own judgment and creates a cycle of self-doubt.
Emotional Numbness: Trauma can cause you to shut down emotionally as a survival strategy. Over time, this disconnect can make it hard to know what you’re feeling, let alone trust those feelings. This can also look like living perpetually in a freeze state in the nervous system, where dissociation is common and a sense of powerlessness takes over.
Fight/Flight: Constantly scanning for danger keeps you on edge and makes it hard to relax into decisions or trust yourself to navigate everyday situations. When we are in fight or flight, our senses are innately tuned outward to the environment in order to scan for threats, also called exteroception (as opposed to interception).
Broken Connections: Trauma can make relationships feel unsafe or unpredictable, leaving you unsure of your ability to choose supportive people or set healthy boundaries. I see this often as clients mistrusting their own ability to choose who to spend time with, as well as overriding important intuitions about red flags in others, and then shaming themselves for it after- a vicious cycle of self blame.
Systemic Oppression and Dysfunctional Dynamics: Systems of oppression, abusive relationships, and dysfunctional family dynamics often deliberately undermine self-trust. These environments may teach you to disbelieve your own perceptions, gaslight your experiences, or punish you for expressing your truth. Recognizing this external influence is a powerful step in reclaiming your self-trust.
********
Photo by Debby Hudson via Unplash
Gentle, Trauma-Informed Steps to Rebuild Self-Trust
Healing self-trust doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a gradual process, requiring patience, compassion, and small, consistent actions. Here are some gentle, trauma-informed steps to start:
1. Start Small and Celebrate Wins
Begin with tiny commitments to yourself—things you know you can follow through on. Maybe it’s drinking a glass of water in the morning or taking five minutes to stand outside under the sun. Celebrate those moments as evidence that you can rely on yourself. If things don’t go as planned, remember that flexibility and self-compassion are key. Trauma can make even small tasks feel monumental, so approach yourself with gentleness and patience. If a task feels too big, it’s okay to break it down even further or pause and come back to it later. I often say that there is no step too small when we are building this kind of self trust.
2. Listen to Your Body in Safe Ways
Your body holds so much wisdom. Take time to notice physical sensations—tightness, warmth, or tension—and gently ask yourself, "What might my body be telling me right now?" For some trauma survivors, tuning into the body might feel overwhelming or triggering. If that’s the case, start small—maybe with grounding exercises, gentle stretches, or even simply noticing your breath. Remind yourself that safety is the priority, and it’s okay to stop if something feels too intense.
3. Practice Self-Compassion Without Judgment
Speak to yourself the way you would speak to a beloved friend. When self-doubt creeps in, remind yourself that you’re doing your best and that healing takes time. If self-compassion feels hard, try small acts of kindness toward yourself—like resting when you’re tired, offering yourself soothing words, or allowing yourself to step away from something overwhelming. It can help to imagine how you might speak to a beloved pet or child if they were struggling with doubt, and then offer that to yourself.
4. Identify Safe Connections at Your Own Pace
Surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries, honor your feelings, and offer consistent support. Trust often grows in connection with others. If identifying safe people feels difficult, start with small interactions and notice how they make you feel. It’s okay to take your time, and it’s okay to step back if something feels off. This is where a trained therapist can also be an amazing tool- co-creating a space with you where you get to practice taking these small, brave steps.
5. Seek Professional Support with Trauma Awareness
Healing from trauma is tender work, and you don’t have to do it alone. A trauma-informed therapist—someone specifically trained to understand the effects of trauma on the mind and body—can offer a safe space for you to process your experiences and rebuild trust in yourself. Not all therapists have this training, so it’s okay to ask questions, advocate for your needs, and find someone who feels like a good fit.
A Gentle Reminder
Rebuilding self-trust isn’t about becoming perfect or getting it right every time—it’s about learning to show up for yourself, again and again, with kindness and patience.
Healing is possible. And you are worthy of that healing.
If this resonates with you and you’re ready to take the next step, I’m here to support you. Reach out today to begin your healing journey.
Ways to work with me:
Online counseling for clients located in Bend, Oregon and the state of Oregon. Click here to schedule a free consultation.
1:1 Yoga Therapy online, for clients located globally. Click here to schedule.
Enter your email at the bottom of this page to stay up to date on offerings, including upcoming online groups!