belonging
This was originally posted on March 14, 2022
“Belonging is not something we negotiate with the external world. It’s something we carry in our hearts.” ~Brene Brown
Belonging can arise from simply remembering that we are whole and lacking nothing. It can be found under the dusty layers of the things we shed and grieve. It can arise through the breath, and through the soft, humble process of receiving. Belonging can be discovered in the eyes of a beloved or a stranger as a reflection of one’s own heart. Belonging can be subversive in a culture of fragmentation. Belonging calls you to be wholly yourself.
Wherever belonging might be felt, it is not to be confused with ‘fitting in,’ blind compliance with oppression, power over, or seeking external validation. It is a feeling, an experience, and a sense of knowing that arises from within.
Check in and notice: are there any emotions that you avoid feeling, or parts of you that you don’t accept input from (perhaps parts that don’t align with the social roles you’ve been assigned)? Loneliness, anger, sadness, and shame are often un-invited to the party. These emotions, however, are just as valid and important to feel as joy and happiness. They aren’t easy to feel, but when we push them away, we can contribute to the very sense of loneliness that feels so heavy- and this can feel like a betrayal or rejection of ourselves. Sometimes this is a result of internalized systemic oppression- when our human experiences are continuously invalidated by social systems or other humans, we will often then replicate this within ourselves. Connecting to your own emotions and experiences with curiosity and compassion is at the center of an empowered relationship with yourself, and is an important component to bringing your inner self and outward expression of who you are into alignment.
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Practice:
Place one hand over the center of your chest. Feel the gentle pressure of your hand over your heart, while you breathe in and out with soft, smooth breaths. This is a gesture many of us make when we feel something deeply, or feel compassion for something we witness. Offer this gesture to yourself, acknowledging the depth and complexity of feeling you hold in your heart. Breathing in, breathing out. With each inhale, you might imagine that you create more space around your heart, around these emotions. With each exhale, you might imagine your breath inviting a softening in your chest. Inhale, spaciousness. Exhale, soften.